Fostering, adopting, or even simply parenting teenagers is no small task and it's certainly not for the faint of heart. It's challenging. But when you consider the reality of trauma histories, and how they determine present behavior, the question must be asked- "Is this a teenager being a teenager, or is there something else going on here?" That's the question we answer in this episode of the podcast.
We've all seen the signs with our children. Rubbing their eyes, irritable, erratic, frustrated, disobedient, you name it. They're tired. But often, we can mistake lack of sleep for bad behavior. It's not, but in our busy lives, it's easy to miss the signs...
In this latest episode of The Honestly Adoption podcast we walk through signs and symptoms of a lack of sleep. When we parent children with a trauma history, we have to remember that vigilance, and fear, and anxiety can cause them to not sleep. What do we do? How do we respond?
It's easy for parents who are caring for children with a trauma history to mistake triggered behavior for disobedience. But, when you understand the origin of behavior, your entire perspective changes.
We often confuse the need for sensory input for bad behaviors, or a child who just can't settle down. But for children who have a trauma history, and have lost control of that area of their life, there is a deep need for comfort and security that they do not know how to articulate. So, it comes out through behaviors. In today's episode we discuss strategies to help your child receive the sensory input he, or she, needs.
It's Week 3 of our new podcast series we're calling "Is It Disobedience Or Something Else?" In this episode we discuss some of the problems a poor diet can create for our children.
On today's episode of the The Honestly Adoption Podcast we are continuing our series called "Is It Disobedience Or Something Else," by answering the question, "Is it disobedience or lack of executive functioning?"
For the next several weeks we are asking the question, "Is it disobedience or something else?" The reality is, children who have experienced significant trauma display behaviors that can often be misinterpreted as disobedience. But the truth is, there is so much more going on.
The word support can be a trigger word for many foster and adoptive parents. The reason is that often, they lack it, desperately need it, but have no idea how to find it. And many organizations are at a loss as to how to provide it. In this latest episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we talk about 3 keys to establishing genuine support.
My good friends Josh and Jenn Hook, authors, bloggers, and leaders of Replanted Ministry and Refresh Chicago, join me on this episode. Recently, the 3 of us co-wrote the brand new book Replanted: Faith-Based Support For Foster And Adoptive Families. In this episode, we're taking you inside the book to discuss 3 keys to finding and establishing genuine support for families.
On this week's episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we're pleased to welcome two people who are using their gifts to change the lives of children in foster care.
Annemarie and Roger Jackson had a dream. They wanted to use their skills in interior design to better the lives of children in foster care. Being foster parents themselves they saw the need. In the process, they also desired to create home goods that people wanted to buy, and made the home warm and welcoming. The result of this dream is Through The Sea. Listen in to hear their story now...
In this brand new episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, our amazing producer, Matt McCarrick, chats with Mike about his brand new book, Winning The Heart Of Your Child, how to be an influence in your child's life, why your kids sometimes seem like they aren't listening at all, and some of the hardest stories he told in the new book!
Parenting is far from easy. In fact, it can take the life out of you at times. But it's beautiful and amazing, in-spite of the frustrations. Believe it or not, you are the greatest voice of influence in your child's life. You're just not the only voice of influence. In this episode, Mike and our producer Matt cover a lot of ground when it comes to building a positive lifelong relationship with your children.
Deborah Gray specializes in the attachment, grief, and trauma issues of children in her practice, Nurturing Attachments. Her method of working with children and families reflects her strong developmental and infant mental health perspective. Her passion is to help families develop close, satisfying relationships. She has worked for 20 years in children’s therapies. We are pleased to have her on this week's show.
It's almost Christmas. Presents, Christmas trees, visits to see Santa, dinners with extended family, piling in the family car to see Christmas lights at the zoo, and also potential disaster for those of us parenting kiddos from past trauma. Listen in to the newest episode of our podcast as we talk about keeping it simple and small during Christmas.
Shannan Martin knows firsthand how to keep it small and simple during the chaotic holiday season. As a wife and mother of 4 active children, it's her goal to keep the holidays memorable, but also sane. Listen in as Kristin and Shannan have a fun-filled and heartfelt conversation about life, living in the country, making lasting memories during Christmas, but also living life as small as possible.
The holiday season, specifically Christmas break, is often a dreaded time for foster and adoptive parents because it means a lack of normal structure for their kiddos. How do you navigate through this time successfully?
In this special Encore episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike and Kristin discuss tips and tricks for maintaining a level of regulation during the chaos of the Holiday season with Licensed Mental Health Counselor and therapist, Ruth Graham. This was part of our 2017 special Holiday Podcast Series called "Holiday Survival Tips and Tricks."
Some of our children have gone through some really tough circumstances early in their lives. It can bring us to tears to even think about the darkness they walked through. But will they ever be able to live free of it later on in life when they are adults? Tune into the our latest episode to find out...
On today's show we are so excited to welcome Best-Selling Author, Anna LeBaron on to talk about the effects of childhood trauma and how she has worked to overcome them and live free. As a child Anna grew up in a polygamist cult and experienced horrific abuse at the hands of her father. Her story is one of hope and triumph and we know you'll find immense encouragement from her words.
"How do I know if I'm called to do this?" It's a common question, even for people who have already adopted, and are thinking about going on the journey again. On this week's podcast episode (and Season 11 debut), Mike and Kristin talk to author and speaker, Alison England about how to know if you're called to adopt.
If you think about it, it wasn't that long ago that you were asking this very question, and pacing the floor, looking to the heavens, wondering what the right answer was. Alison England has been there. She is an adoptive mom and the award-winning author of Tandem: A Devotional for Adopting with God in the Lead. Alison and her husband, Joel, have been together since college and have three children. She cofounded Momentum Adoptions, a licensed adoption agency and is a professor at Arizona State University. Alison’s passion to encourage adoptive parents extends through her Tandem ministry, including Alison’s blog and speaking engagements.
We work hard to connect to our children, because connection is the most important thing we can do on the foster and adoptive journey. But what happens when you have honestly exhausted all of your resources, and you realize you legitimately cannot care for your child anymore?
It's an unpopular route on the adoptive journey: relinquishment. However, in some situations, it's a reality. Certainly, not something a parent should rush into when the journey becomes difficult. A healthy connection, lifelong bond, and deep trust are always the end-goal and the overall target for parents who have adopted children from trauma. But in some extreme cases, it is healthier for both children and parents to part ways. Carrie O'Toole joins our show today to discuss this topic and offer wisdom and her best advice on this subject. Listen in now...
Your child will always have first family. And as much as possible, we believe you should work to formulate a solid relationship with them. After all, they gave your child life. But what if there's a possibility this will hurt your child in the long run?
It's a valid question: "Will visiting with birth parents, or having a relationship with them, hurt my child in the long run?" We understand where this comes from. But we also know that oftentimes, birth parents get a bad rep thanks to current news media, and unwarranted or unfounded fear. There are situations that are not healthy, yes, that's true. But, before you make a final decision on whether or not it's healthy to be in relationship, Mike and Kristin have some advice on how to connect in the healthiest way possible...
The disastrous car rides, the grocery store trips that abruptly end in fights, the movie nights that turn into tears. What do you do when one of your children continually causes all your children to be disregulated? How do you stop them? On today's episode of the podcast, we're answering this big question...
This one resonates deeply with us. We've stood helplessly by and watched all of our other children, who are just trying to ride to church, or school, in peace, move into a complete emotional tailspin because one of our children cannot keep their hands, or comments, to themselves. And the day is completely ruined! Ever been there? When we're talking about children from past trauma, we're also talking about impulsive and often frustrating behavior. Oftentimes, they can't even help it.
But that's not fair to your other children! How do you stop this from happening, or at least better manage it when it does? Listen in as we answer this question...
They are two hot topic words that can either bring a smile to a person's face, or make them grimace. Marriage and money! But they are both intimately connected and they both matter significantly. In this week's episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, you'll discover why...
Not that long ago, Brian and Cherie Lowe found themselves in $127,000 debt and on the brink of watching their marriage crumble. But then, after hard work, re-commitment to one another, and a belief in hope, they paid off every dime. Cherie tells their entire story through her 2015 book, Slaying The Debt Dragon. Now, through their new book, Your Money, Your Marriage, they are helping couples understand the intimate connection between financial freedom and intimacy.
On this week’s episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we’re continuing our special series called “I Have A Question,” with a great question about how to better help our kiddos focus.
It’s a struggle that many foster and adoptive parents have with their children. How to help them focus? This is mostly spotlighted with things like homework, chores, and daily routine. And it can be extremely frustrating on a daily basis. In this episode, hosts Mike and Kristin Berry walk listeners through 5 key strategies that can change everything for you and your children.
It's a big question that many foster and adoptive parents have when it comes to their children- "What do I do with a child who just doesn't seem to care about anything, or anyone?" On today's episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, Mike and Kristin bring insight to this lingering question.
You've probably experienced something similar to this... it's Christmas morning and the entire family is gathered around the tree to open presents with joy. Except for one child, who has plopped down on the sofa in the other room with her phone, earbuds in, ignoring everyone. She doesn't care that it's Christmas (or at least it appears this way). How do you handle this? Listen in as Mike and Kristin give some practical, yet valuable advice...
On today's episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we're taking you back, back, waaaay back to an episode Mike and Kristin hosted a few years ago with their good friend Nicole Goerges, entitled How To Love A Child Who Won't Love You Back.
It's an all-too-common tale on the foster and adoptive parenting journey- you love the child you've welcomed into your home deeply. You have given everything to them. You have committed to being their forever mommy or daddy. The connection you have to them is deeper than deep. But they don't (at least it appears so) feel the same way toward you. In this encore episode, listen in as Mike, Kristin and Nicole talk openly about this topic, and offer practical insights...
On this week's episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast, we're kicking off a brand new season entitled "I Have A Question." We asked you to send us your biggest questions and we received a ton of great feedback. Today Mike and Kristin begin with "How Do I Help My Child Who Doesn't Have Services?"
Communicate, communicate, communicate! That's really what it comes down to when you're talking about a child you're caring for who doesn't need, or have, special services like an IEP (Individualized Education Plan), therapy, special medical services, a behavior plan, or more.
Will it disrupt their lives? What about birth order? Will it take away from time our kids are owed by us? Is this going to make our kids feel pushed to the side? If you have had these, or other concerns, for your biological kids when it comes to stepping into foster care, you are not alone!
This week we are wrapping up Season 9 of The Honestly Adoption Podcast. Be sure to listen in as Mike talks with Jason Johnson, author of Reframing Foster Care: Filtering Your Foster Parenting Journey through the Lens of the Gospel. Jason shares honestly about the fears, and will encourage you to reframe how you think about how foster care might affect your biological children.
It could be for an intense situation with a child displaying sexual maladaptive behaviors or maybe a child acting out with volatile anger and you are needing to protect other children in your home. It might be a very basic plan for protecting children who have experienced trauma but aren't displaying intense behaviors themselves. While the details and needs will vary, developing safety plans are a common need for many foster and adoptive families and we are talking about it today on the Honestly Adoption Podcast.
In today's episode you will get a chance to listen to a replay of a live training that our host, Mike Berry, recently gave at Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit (CAFO) in 2018. It may not be something you are looking forward to, but developing and maintaining a safety plan doesn't have to be a negative experience. Listen in for some tips and encouragement for getting this job done well.